sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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