My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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