dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
