Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.