Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
