DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..