I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I want to be your penis for a week.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.