is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?