He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
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It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
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Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.