yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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