I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize