just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
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I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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