By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
