HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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