he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
