We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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