he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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