i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
