ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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