OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
