She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Less talking, more tequila
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
