my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
