Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
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if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
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It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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