Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
