If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
