i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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