im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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