halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
