Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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