butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Girls should come with a carfax report
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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