I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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