What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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