just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
