He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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