3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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