Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
