yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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