Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
