Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize