I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
