and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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