laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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