I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it was like eating out sand paper
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
