What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
