Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
