How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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