the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Holy shit dude........stairs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
