My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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