i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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