Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
