You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
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If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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