Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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