I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
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