I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
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