She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
