so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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