there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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