Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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