My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
