Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
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I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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