How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
