dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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