If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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