the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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