better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize