Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
don't judge my taste in strippers
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
