I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
