No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
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you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
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Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My feet surprised me
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