i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
