I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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