Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
